Beauty and the Werehog
by SSB-Episode-Writer
Summary: A parody of "Beauty and the Beast" Read it as Elise is meets Sonic the Werehog who is under a curse and it must be broken before the rose wilts. My first SonicxElise story!
1. New Girl in Town

I thought I take a break from VG Tunes and move to my next story. It happens to be a parody of the 1991 Disney film, "Beauty and the Beast" Here's the cast of who does who.

Belle: Elise, Princess of Soleanna (Sonic '06)

Beast: Sonic the Hedgehog/ Werehog (Sonic Unleashed)

Gaston: Sam Speed (Sonic X)

Lumiere: Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes)

Cogsworth: Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes)

Mrs. Potts: Chloe Scarlett (OC)

Chip: Alan the Hedgehog (Me)

LeFou: Jet the Hawk (Sonic Riders)

Philippe: Epona (Legend of Zelda)

Featherduster: Lola Bunny (Space Jam)

* * *

Chapter 1: New Girl in Town

We hear a narrator speak as we fade in and see a beautiful castle far away.

"Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young hedgehog prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous werehog, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the werehog concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a werehog?"

We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration, as well as the Werehog shredding his portrait. The camera slowly zooms out from the castle and we see the title. Fade up on the home of Elise. She exits the front door and begins her walk into town.

Little town, it's a quiet village Every day, like the one before Little town, full of little people Waking up to say...

_Hello!  
Hello!  
Hello!  
Hello!  
Hello!_

_There goes the baker with his tray like always  
The same old bread and rolls to sell  
Every morning just the same  
Since the morning that we came  
To this poor provincial town..._

"Good morning, Elise!" greeted the baker

Elise jumps over to the bakery.

"Morning!" Elise greeted back.

"Where are you off to?" the baker asked.

"The bookshop! I just finished the most wonderful story, about a beanstalk and an ogre and..."

The baker ignores her and says, "That's nice...Marie, the bagels! Hurry up!!"

Elise rolls her eyes and walks away.

_Look there she goes, that girl is strange no question  
Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?_

_Never part of any crowd_

_Cause her head's up on some cloud_

_No denying she's a funny girl, that Elise!_

Elise jumps on the back of a wagon and rides through town.

_Hello!_

_Good day!_

_How is your family?_

_Hello!_

_Good day!_

_How is your wife?_

"I need six eggs!" shouted a woman.

"That's too expensive!" one man said.

"There must be more than this provincial life!" Elise sang and enters the bookshop.

"Ah, Elise!" the bookseller greeted her.

"Good morning. I've come to return the book I borrowed.

The bookseller puts the book back on the shelf and asked, "Finished already?"

"Oh, I couldn't put it down! Have you got anything new?" Elise asked.

The bookseller laughs and answers, "Not since yesterday."

Elise is on ladder of bookshelf and responds, "That's all right. I'll borrow...this one," she gives the bookseller a book.

"That one?" the bookseller stutters. "But you've read it twice!"

"Well it's my favorite!" Elise swings off side of ladder, rolling down it's track. "Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!"

The bookseller hands her the book and said, "Well, if you like it all that much, it's yours!"

"But sir!" Elise gasped.

"I insist!"

"Well thank you. Thank you very much!" Elise leaves bookshop.

Men looks in window, then turning to watch her.

_Look there she goes That girl is so peculiar!  
I wonder if she's feeling well!_

_With a dreamy far-off look!_

_And her nose stuck in a book!  
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Elise!_

Elise sits on the edge of a fountain, singing to the sheep and the washing woman in the background, who leaves.

_Oh! Isn't this amazing!  
It's my favorite part because, you'll see!  
Here's where she meets Prince Charming But she won't discover that it's him 'til chapter three!_

_Now it's no wonder that her name means 'beauty'  
Her looks have got no parallel!_

_But behind that fair facade I'm afraid she's rather odd Very different from the rest of us..._

_She's nothing like the rest of us  
Yes different from the rest of us is Elise_

Geese flying overhead, one is shot and plummets to the ground. Jet the Hawk runs over, holds out the bag, and misses catching the prize. He returns to Sam Speed.

"Wow! You didn't miss a shot, Sam!" Jet commented. "You're the greatest hunter in the whole world!"

"I know!" Sam said calmly.

"Huh. No beast alive stands a chance against you...and no girl for that matter!"

"It's true, Jet, and I've got my sights set on that one!" Sam points to Elise.

"The inventor's daughter?" Jet is shocked.

"She's the one! The lucky girl I'm going to marry."

"But she's--" Jet tries to get some words out.

"The most beautiful girl in town."

"I know--"

"And that makes her the best. And don't I deserve the best?" Sam asked.

"Well of course, I mean you do, but I mean..."

Sam drops Jet.

_Right from the moment when I met her, saw her  
I said she's gorgeous and I fell  
Here in town there's only she_

Elise walks by and away

_Who is beautiful as me  
So I'm making plans to woo and marry Elise_

A bunch of girls are shown singing. They seem to fall madly in love with Sam.

_Look there he goes, isn't he dreamy Sam Speed, oh he's so cute  
Be still my heart, I'm hardly breathing  
He's such a tall, strong and handsome brute_

Elise walks easily through the crowd of people in the town, Sam struggles to catch up to her.

_Hello!  
Pardon!  
Good day!  
Morning!  
You call this bacon?  
What lovely grapes!  
Some cheese!  
Ten yards!  
One pound 'xcuse me!  
I'll get the knife!  
Please let me through!  
This bread!  
Those fish!  
It's stale!  
They smell!  
Madame's mistaken!_

_There must be more than this provincial life!_

_Just watch I'm going to make Elise my wife!_

The townsfolk gather around Sam, and eventually surround him.

_Look there she goes a girl who's strange but special  
A most peculiar girl  
It's a pity and a sin  
She doesn't quite fit in!_

_But she really is a funny girl  
A beauty but a funny girl  
She really is a funny girl! That Elise!_

Elise stops reading her book and looks at the townsfolk who continue on working. She goes back to her book as Sam jumps down in front of her.

"Hello, Elise," Sam greeted.

"Morning Sam," Elise greeted back as Sam grabs the book from her. "Sam, may I have my book, please?"

"How can you read this?" Sam complained. "There's no pictures!"

"Well, some people use their imaginations."

"Elise, it's about time you got your head out of those books," He tosses the book into the mud, "and paid attention to more important things...like me!" The three same girls from before, who are looking on, sigh. "The whole town's talking about it. Elise has picked up the book and is cleaning off the mud. "It's not right for a woman to read--soon she starts getting ideas...and thinking."

"Sam, you are positively primeval," Elise said.

Sam puts his hand around her shoulders and says, "Why thank you, Elise. Hey, whaddya say you and me take a walk over to the tavern and have a look at my hunting trophies."

"Maybe some other time," Elise didn't seem interested.

"What's wrong with her?" one girl asked.

"She's crazy!" another said.

"He's gorgeous!" the third said dreamily.

"Please, Sam. I can't. I have to get home and help my father."

Jet manages to catch up and throws Sam's loot on the ground. He laughs, "Ha ha ha, that crazy old loon, he need all the help he can get!"

Sam and Jet laugh heartily.

"Don't you talk about my father that way!" Elise said to them.

"Yeah, don't talk about her father that way!" Sam pretended to stand up to Elise as he conks Jet on the head.

"My father's not crazy! He's a genius!" Elise said as she hears an explosion in background.

Elise runs off to her house as Sam and Jet continue laughing. Sam slaps Jet very hard as Jet falls down. Sam stills laughs but not much.


	2. Into the Castle

Chapter 2: Into the Castle

Elise walks into the basement full of smoke. In a barrel was her father, Eugene H. Krabs.

"Father?" Elise calls out for Krabs.

"How on earth did that happen? Davy Jones' Locker!" He pulls the barrel off his waist, along with his pants.

"Are you all right, father?" Elise asked.

I'm about ready to give up on this hunk of junk!" He kicks the machine and reacts in pain.

Elise giggle and says, "You always say that."

"I mean it, this time. I'll never get this contraption to work," Krabs complained.

"Yes, you will. And you'll win first prize at the fair tomorrow."

"Hmmmph!"

"...and become a world famous inventor! Not to mention the money," Elise encouraged him.

"You really believe that?" Krabs asked his eyes made the dollar sign.

"I always have."

"Well, what are we waiting for. I'll have this thing fixed in no time," he slides under the machine. "Hand me that dog-legged clencher there... So, did you have a good time in town today?"

"I got a new book. Father, do you think I'm odd?" Elise asked.

"My daughter-in-law? Odd?" He appears from under machine with bizarre goggle contraption on his head distorting his eyes. "Where would you get an idea like that?"

"Oh, I don't know. It's just I'm not sure I fit in here," Elise explained. "There's no one I can really talk to."

"What about that Sam Speed? He's a handsome fellow!" Krabs said as he grabs another tool. "Not to mention rich with money!"

"He's handsome all right, and rude and conceited and...Oh father, he's not for me!"

"Well, don't you worry, cause this invention's going to be the start of a new life for us," He comes out from under machine. "I think that's done it. Now, let's give it a try."

He turns the machine on and it whirs and chops wood, just as it should.

"It works!" Elise gasped.

"It does?" Krabs asked as he dodges a log. "It does!"

"You did it! You really did it!" Elise hugged Krabs.

"Hitch up Epona, girl. I'm off to the fair!" Krabs cheered as a log strikes him in the head, knocking him out.

Fade to later in the day

"Good bye, father! Good luck!"

"Good bye, Elise, and take care while I'm gone!" Krabs shouted back.

Krabs and Epona continue on their journey until they become lost.

"We should be there by now," Krabs said to himself. "Maybe we missed a turn. I guess I should have taken a...wait a minute," He lifts lantern to illuminate sign giving directions to Nintendo and XBOX. "Let's go this way!"

Epona looks right, at a dark, overgrown path, then left towards a more inviting route, then begins to go left.

"Come on, Epona! It's a shortcut. We'll be there in no time!" Krabs pulls Epona's reins to the right.

Epona and Krabs continue through the dark.

"This can't be right. Where have you taken us, Epona? We'd better turn around," Epona starts to panic. "...and...whoa...whoa girl, whoa Epona. Oh, oh! Look out!"

A swarm of bats fly out of a tree. Epona runs through the forest avoiding everything until she almost runs over the edge of a cliff

"Back up! Back up! Back up!" Krabs shouted. "Good girl, good girl. That's good, that's--back up! Steady. Steady! Hey now. Steady," Epona finally bucks him off. "Epona!" Epona runs away, leaving Krabs on the edge of the cliff. "Epona?" Krabs squeaked. "Oh no!"

He looks up and sees wolves growling at him. Krabs runs away, being chased by the wolves. He stumbles down a hill, and lands at the gate of a castle. He grabs the locked gate and tries to shake it open.

"Help! Is someone there?" Krabs asked.

The gate opens, and Krabs runs in. He slams the gate in the faces of the wolves. Leaving his hat on the ground as the rain begins to fall, Krabs runs to the castle and bangs on the door. It creaks open and he enters, cautiously.

"Hello? Hello?" Krabs called out.

Watching from a table near the entrance are Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

We can hear Bug's voice barely whispering. "Old fellow must have lost his way in the woods."

Daffy is also whispering. "Keep quiet! Maybe he'll go away."

"Is someone there?" Krabs asked.

"Not a word, Bugs. Not one word!" Daffy hissed at Bugs.

"I don't mean to intrude, but I've lost my horse and I need a place to stay for the night," Krabs explained his dilenma.

Bugs looks at Daffy like a child having just found a lost puppy. "Oh Daff, have a heart."

"Shush shush shhhhh!" Daffy urged as he puts his hand over Bugs' mouth, who prys Daffy's hand off and pushes it away.

"Of course, doc, you are welcome here," Bugs said.

Krabs looks around in confusion and wonders, "Who said that?" He picks up the candlestick for light, he walks by Bugs and Daffy and picks up Bugs to see where the speaker.

Bugs taps him on the shoulder and said, "Over here!"

Krabs spins around, pulling Bugs to the other side. "Where?"

Bugs taps Krabs on the side of the head or eye. Krabs looks at Bugs.

"What's up Doc?"

"Oh!!" startled, he drops Bugs onto the floor. "Incredible!" Krabs gasped.

Daffy runs over and gripes, "Well, now you've done it, Bugs. Splendid, just peachy--aaarrrgghh!" Krabs picks up Daffy.

"How is this accomplished?" he fiddles with Daffy.

"Put me down! At once!" Krabs tickles the bottoms of Daffy's feet. He laughs. He begins to mess around with Daffy as he turns Daffy's beak around. Daffy straightens his beak up and rudely asked, "Sir, do you mind!"

"I beg your pardon, it's just that I've never seen a statue of a duck that...aah...i mean...aah aah aah-chooo!!" Krabs sneezes in the face of Daffy's face which cause his beak to move across his face and end up in the back of his head. Krabs sniffles, indicating the cold he has caught from being in the rain.

"Oh, you are soaked to the bone, doc. Come, warm yourself by the fire," Bugs said and takes Krabs away.

"Thank you," Krabs said.

Bugs and Krabs head towards the den, with Daffy running after them.

"No, no, no, do you know what the master would do if he finds you here?" Sonic is watching the action from an overhead walkway, and rushes off as the trio enters the den. "I demand that you stop...right...there!" Daffy tumbles down the steps. Krabs takes a seat in a large chair in front of a roaring fire.

"Oh no, not the master's chair!" Goddard rushes past Daffy, barking up a storm. "I'm not seeing this, I'm not seeing this!"

As Goddard rushes up to him, Krabs greets him, "Well, hello there, boy."

Goddard props himself up under the feet of Krabs. Mr. Tanaka enters, removes his cloak and covers him with a blanket.

"Allow me to take your coat sir," Tanaka said.

"What service! I hope it's for free!" Krabs hoped.

"All right, this has gone far enough," Daffy continues arguing. "I'm in charge here, and-," Daffy is run over by the anachronistic IndyCar sounding teacart of Chloe Scarlett.

Arriving by the side of Krabs, Chloe asks, "How would you like a nice cup of tea, sir? It'll warm you up in no time," She pours tea into cup as her son Alan hands it over to him.

From face down position on carpet Daffy mumbles, "No! No tea, no tea!!"

As Krabs sips the tea Alan comments, "Ha ha! He sure is one thirsty crab."

Startled by the Alan, Krabs greets him. "Oh! Hello!"

The door to the den slams open and a strong gust of wind blows into the room, extinguishing the fire in the fireplace. Daffy dives for cover. Chloe begins to shake. Alan takes refuge from behind his mother.

"Uh oh!" Alan gasped.

Sonic enters. We see him in full for the first time. He is on all fours. He looks around in the darkness.

Sonic growls his words, "There's a stranger here."

Bugs calmly explains the whole situation. "Master, allow me to explain. Doc here was lost in the woods and he was cold and wet..." Bugs' last sentence is drowned out by the very loud growl of Sonic. Bugs looks down, dejected.

Daffy comes out from under a rug and said, "Master, I'd like to take this moment to say...I was against this from the start. I tried to stop them, but would they listen to me? No, no, no!" again, Sonic's growl drowns out Daffy.

Krabs looks to one side of the chair, then to the other and sees Sonic.

"Who are you!" Sonic growled. "What are you doing here?"

Krabs is very scared and backing away from the advancing Sonic and answers shakingly, "I was lost in the woods and...," he stares at Sonic.

Sonic advances on him. "You are not welcome here!"

"I'm sorry!"

"What are you staring at?" Sonic asked.

Krabs is cowering under Sonic. "Noth-noth-nothing!" He turns to leave.

Sonic races around and blocking the entrance with surprising speed. "So, you've come to stare at the werehog, have you?"

"Please, I meant no harm! I just needed a place to stay," Krabs begged.

"I'll give you a place to stay!" Sonic picks up Krabs, carries him out of the room and slams the door, plunging the den, along with Bugs, Daffy, Chloe, and Alan into darkness. 


	3. Elise Goes to the Castle

Chapter 3: Elise Goes to the Castle

Fade in to Elise's cottage, seen from POV of Sam and Jet.

"Heh! Oh boy! Elise's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh Sam?" Jet asked.

"Yep. This is her lucky day!" Sam smiled.

Sam lets go of a branch, which swings back and hits Jet in the beak. Sam turns to the band, wedding guests and others, apparently just out of sight of Elise's cottage.)

"I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first, I better go in there and...propose to the girl!" Sam joked. The minister, baker, and others laugh heartily. Camera pans quickly to show the same three girls crying their eyes out. Sam goes to Jet, "Now, you Jet. When Elise and I come out that door--"

"Oh I know, I know!" Jet cheered and he turns and begins directing the band in "Here Comes the Bride." Sam slams a baritone over his head.

"Not yet!" Sam shouted.

From inside the instrument, Jet muffles, "Sorry!"

We cut to interior of cottage. Elise is sitting in a chair reading her new book. There is a knock at the door. She puts the book down and walks to the door. She reaches up and pulls down a viewing device. She peeks through and sees an anachronistically accurate fish-eye view of Sam. She moans, and pushes the door open.

"Sam, what a pleasant...surprise," Elise greeted him.

"Isn't it though? I'm just full of surprises. You know, Elise. There's not a girl in town who wouldn't love to be in your shoes. This is the day..." Sam pauses by a mirror and licks his teeth clean. "This is the day your dreams come true."

"What do you know about my dreams, Sam?" Elise asked.

"Plenty. Here, picture this," Sam plops down in the chair and props his mud-covered feet up on Elise's book. He begins to kick off his boots and wiggle his toes through his hole-y socks. "A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife, massaging my feet, while the little ones play with the dogs." Elise looks positively disgusted. Sam gets up next to her face. "We'll have six or seven."

"Dogs?" Elise asked.

"No, Elise! Strapping boys, like me!" Sam corrected her.

"Imagine that," she picks up her book, places a mark in it, and puts it on the shelf.

"And do you know who that wife will be?"

"Let me think."

He corners Elise. "You, Elise!"

Ducking under Sam's arms, Elise said, "Sam, I'm speechless. I really don't know what to say."

Pushing chairs and things out of the way until he reaches Elise and traps her against the door. "Say you'll marry me."

Reaching for the doorknob, Elise continued, "I'm very sorry, Sam, but I just don't deserve you." She twists the knob and the door opens this time outward. Elise ducks under Sam as he tumbles out the door and into the mud.

The wedding band begins to play "Here Comes the Bride." Sam's boots are thrown out of the door now opened inward and the door is slammed shut. Jet, who is directing the band, looks down and sees Sam's legs sticking out of the mud, and a pig's head sticking up. Jet cuts off the band, and Sam's head pops up, with the pig on top of him. He tilts his head, and the pig slides down his back.

"So, how'd it go?" Jet asked.

Sam picks up Jet by the neck and answers angrily, "I'll have Elise for my wife, make no mistake about that!" Sam drops Jet into the mud.

"Touchy!" Jet grumbled.

The pig snorts in agreement.

Sam walks off, dejected, and the focus returns to the cottage. Elise pokes her head out the door.

Elise says to the chickens, "Is he gone? Can you imagine, he asked me to marry him. Me, the wife of that boorish, brainless..."

_Madame Sam Speed, can't you just see it  
Madame Sam Speed, his little wife  
No sir, Not me, I guarantee it  
I want much more than this provincial life..._

Elise walks into the pen and feeds the animals, then runs off singing into an open field overlooking a beautiful valley.

_I want adventure in the great wide somewhere  
I want it more than I can tell  
And for once it might be grand  
To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned_

Epona runs into the open field. Elise looks at her, disturbed that Krabs is not with her.

"Epona! What are you doing here?" Elise asked, shocked. "Where's father? Where is he, Epona? What happened? Oh, we have to find him, you have to take me to him!"

Elise unhitches the wagon from Epona. Cut to exterior of the castle gate. How Epona brought Elise there is a mystery, seeing as Epona never made it to the castle with Krabs.

"What is this place?" Elise wondered.

Epona snorts, then begins to buck as if something is scaring her. Elise dismounts and comforts her.

"Epona, please, steady," She enters the gate and sees Epona's hat on the ground. "Papa."

We cut to interior of castle with Bugs and Daffy discussing events.

"Couldn't keep quiet, could we?" Daffy sneered at Bugs. "Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we? Serve him tea, sit in the master's chair, pet the pooch."

"Aw come on Daff, you know I was trying to be hospitable," Bugs tried explaining.

We cut back to door opening and Elise entering castle.

"Hello? Is anyone here? Hello? Father? Father, are you here?"

We follow as Elise ascends the grand staircase and searches for her father. Cut to kitchen where Chloe is standing next to a tub of hot water. Alan runs in.

"Mom. There's a girl in the castle!" Alan announced.

"Now, Alan. I won't have you making up such wild stories," Chloe got angry and went down to his level.

"But really, Mom, I saw her."

Disgusted, Chloe said, "Not another word. Into the tub." She lifts Alan into the tub. Lola Bunny enters the room.

"A girl! I saw a girl in the castle!" Lola cheered.

Poking his head out from the water, Alan said, "See, I told ya!"

We cut back to Bugs and Daffy bickering.

"Irresponsible, devil-may-care, waxy eared, slack-jawed--" as Daffy continued, Bugs looks at the camera and holds up a sign with a screw and a ball on it, meaning "screw-ball".

"Father?" we hear Elise's voice echo as Bugs and Daffy hear her.

Bugs and Daffy turn to look at the new arrival.

"Did you see that?" Bugs asked, running to the door and poking his head around the corner with Daffy. "It's a girl!"

"I know it's a girl," Daffy rolled his eyes.

"Don't you see Daff? She's the one!" Bugs said. "The girl we have been waiting for. She has come to break the spell Doc!" He chases after her.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Daffy chases after him.

Elise advances down a narrow hallway. Bugs and Daffy sneak up behind her and open the door that leads to the tower where Krabs is being kept. The door creaks open and Elise hears the sound.

"Father? Father?" Daffy hides behind the door and Bugs rushes off. "Hello? Is someone here? Wait! I'm looking for my father!" She begins up the stairs, but doesn't realize that Bugs is watching her, disguise as a lamp holder. "That's funny, I'm sure there was someone... I-I-Is there anyone here?"

Krabs' voice echoes from his cell.

"Elise?"

Elise rushes up to the cell to find him. "Oh, Father!"

"How did you find me?" Krabs asked.

"Oh, your claws are like ice. We have to get you out of here."

"Elise, I want you to leave this place," Krabs ordered her.

"Who's done this to you?" Elise asked.

"No time to explain. You must go...now!"

"I won't leave you!"

Suddenly, Sonic grabs Elise's shoulder and whips her around. She drops the torch she was carrying into a puddle and the room is dark except for one beam of light from a skylight.

"What are you doing here?" Sonic asked her.

"Run, Elise!" Krabs screamed.

"Who's there? Who are you?" Elise asked.

"The master of this castle," Sonic answered.

"I've come for my father. Please let him out! Can't you see he's sick?" Elise told him.

"Then he shouldn't have trespassed here!" Sonic shouted.

"But he could die. Please, I'll do anything!" Elise begged him.

"There's nothing you can do. He's my prisoner," Sonic said.

"Oh, there must be some way I can...wait! Take me, instead!"

"You!" Sonic looked like he didn't like the idea. "You would take his place?"

"Elise! No! You don't know what you're doing!" Krabs told her.

"If I did, would you let him go?" Elise asked.

"Yes, but you must promise to stay here forever," Sonic growled.

Elise ponders the situation and realizes she can't see the captor.

"Come into the light," Elise said to him.

Sonic drags his legs, then his whole body into the beam of light. Elise looks, her eyes growing wider until she can stand no more and falls back to Krabs.

"No, Elise. I won't let you do this!" Krabs begged.

Elise regains her composure, then steps into the beam of light, giving her a very virgin-ish look.

"You have my word," Elise said her final answer.

Sonic said quickly, "Done!"

Sonic moves over to unlock the cell, and Elise collapses to the floor with her head in her hands. We hear the door being unlocked, then Krabs rushing over to Elise.

"No, Elise. Listen to me. I'm old, I've lived my life--" Sonic grabs him and drags him downstairs.

"Wait!" Elise gasped.

"Elise!" Krabs called out.

"Wait!"

Cut to ext. of castle. Sonic drags Krabs towards a pallenquin.

"No, please spare my daughter!" Krabs continued begging.

"She's no longer your concern," Sonic throws Krabs into the pallenquin. "Take him to the village."

The pallenquin breaks the ivy holding it to the ground, then slinks off like a spider with Krabs inside.

"Please, let me out, please!" Krabs' voice is heard.

Cut to Elise looking out cell window at the pallenquin crossing the bridge over the moat. She begins to cry. We cut to Sonic walking up the stairs. Bugs is still at his post.

"Hey Doc?"

Sonic snaps angrily, "What!"

"Since the girl is going to be with us for quite some time, I was thinking that you might want to offer her a more comfortable room," Sonic growls angrily at him. "Hey, then again, maybe not."

Sonic enters the cell where Elise is still crying.

"You didn't even let me say good bye. I'll never see him again. I didn't get to say good-bye," Elise whined.

Feeling bad, Sonic rubs his neck and said, "I'll show you to your room."

Surprised, Elise wondered, "My room?" Indicating the cell. "But I thought--"

"You wanna stay in the tower?" Sonic asked.

"No."

"Then follow me."

Sonic leads Elise to her room. As they proceed, Elise begins to lag behind. She looks at the hideous sculptures on the walls and the light casting shadows on them. Frightened, she gasps and runs to catch up with Sonic, who is has Bugs leading the way as a light source. Sonic looks back at Elise, and sees a tear form at the corner of her eye.

"Say something to her Doc," Bugs offered advice to Sonic.

"Hmm? Oh," Sonic goes to Elise. "I...um...hope you like it here." He looks at Bugs for approval. He motions Sonic to continue. "The castle is your home now, so you can go anywhere you wish, except the West Wing."

Looking intrigued, Elise wondered, "What's in the West Wing?"

Stopping angrily, Sonic said to her, "It's forbidden!"

Sonic continues, and Elise reluctantly follows. Cut to int. of Elise's room, dark. The door opens and light spills in.

Tenderly, Sonic explains, "Now, if there's anything you need, my servants will attend you."

whispering in his ear, Bugs offers, " Hey Doc, dinner--invite her to dinner."

Sonic grows angry and yells, "You...will join me for dinner. That's not a request!"

Sonic leaves, slamming the door behind him. Elise, terrified, runs over to the bed and flings herself onto it, finally breaking down and crying.


	4. Sam's Plan

**Chapter 4: Sam's Plan**

We fade to tavern in the town.

"Who does she think she is?" said Sam's voice. "That girl has tangled with the wrong man. No one says 'no' to Sam Speed!"

"Darn right!" Jet said, holding two cups of beer.

"Dismissed. Rejected. Publicly humiliated," Sam said while taking the cups from Jet. "Why, it's more than I can bear," He throws the cups into the fireplace and turns chair away.

"More beer?" Jet asks and runs in front of him.

Sam turns chair away again. "What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced."

"Who, you? Never. Sam, you've got to pull yourself together," Jet said and started singing.

_Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Sam_  
_Looking so down in the dumps_  
_Every guy here'd love to be you, Sam_ (cheering from the gallery)  
_Even when taking your lumps_

_There's no man in town as admired as you_  
_You're everyone's favorite guy_  
_Everyone's awed and inspired by you_ (Jet turns chair back to forward)  
_And it's not very hard to see why!_

_No one's slick as Sam, no one's quick as Sam_  
_No one's next as incredibly thick as Sam_  
_For there's no man in town half as manly_  
_Perfect, a pure paragon!_  
_You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley _(Jet stomps on a few heads)  
_And they'll tell you who's team they'd prefer to be on!_

Jet has pulled a man's belt off, whose pants fall to the ground. Jet jumps up and wraps the belt around Sam's neck, who flexes and breaks it off. Sam continues to dance around. Old cronies pick him up and swing him around.

(Old Cronies swing Jet back and forth into the camera)  
Old Cronies:_ No one's been like Sam, a king-pin like Sam_  
Jet: _No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Sam_  
Sam: _As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!_  
Old Cronies: _My, what a guy that Sam!_  
(Jet tickles Sam's chin, who stands with pride)

Old Cronies: _Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip-hips_  
Jet: _Sam is the best and the rest is all drips!_  
(Jet swings up his arm in dance and throws a mug of beer in Sam's face, who socks Jet in the beak)

ALL: _No one fights like Sam, no one bites like Sam_  
(Sam fights with the men, then lifts a bench with the Bimbettes on it)  
Wrestler: _In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Sam_  
Bimbettes: _For there's no one as burly and brawny_  
Sam: _As you see I've got biceps to spare_  
Jet: _Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny_  
(He drops the bench on Jet, then turns to the camera and reveals his hairy chest.)  
Sam: _That's right! And every last bit of me's covered with hair!_

(Sam plays a chess game with a man, then hits the board, sending it and pieces all over)  
Old Cronies: _No one hits like Sam, matches wits like Sam_  
Jet: _In a spitting match, nobody spits like Sam!_  
(Sam takes a bite of leather from the belt once wrapped around his neck, chews it and spits it into a spittoon, which falls and gets stuck on the head of Jet)  
Sam: _I'm especially good at expectorating! Ptooey!_  
ALL: _Ten points for Sam!_  
Sam: _When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs_  
_Every morning to help me get large!_  
_And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs_  
_So I'm roughly the size of a barge!_  
(Sam juggles a number of eggs, then swallows them whole. Jet attempts the trick, and is hit in the face by three eggs.)

Sam takes three shots at a beer barrel, which begins leaking into the mugs of onlookers. He returns stomping to his chair, where we see the fireplace surrounded by the heads of the animals he has killed. The mystery cut of music is here!  
ALL: _No one shoots like Sam, makes those beauts like Sam_  
Jet: _Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Sam_  
Sam: _I use antlers in all of my decorating!_

ALL: _My what a guy! Sam Speed!_

(The Old Cronies have picked up the chair and carry Sam around in it. Jet tries to flee, but they toss the chair into its normal place, and Jet is pinned underneath. Krabs bursts in frantically)

"Help! Someone help me!" Krabs panted.

"Eugene?" an old man gasped.

"Please! Please, I need your help! He's got her. He's got her locked in the dungeon," Krabs ran around the room.

"Who?" asked Jet, still under the chair.

"Elise. Me daughter! We must go. Not a minute to lose!" Krabs said.

"Whoa! Slow down, Krabs," Sam said. "Who's got Elise locked in a dungeon?"

"A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast the size of a kraken!" Krabs said, waving his claws.

A moment of silence, then the old cronies begin to laugh and mock him.

"Is it a big beast?" asked a crony.

"Huge!"

"With a long, ugly snout?" asked another crony.

"Hideously ugly!"

"And sharp, cruel fangs?" another crony asked.

"Yes, yes. Will you help me?" Krabs asked.

"All right, old man. We'll help you out," Sam said, not interested.

"You will? Oh thank you, thank you!" Krabs breathed a sigh of relief.

The cronies pick up Krabs and help him out by throwing him through the door.

"Crazy old Eugene. He's always good for a laugh! Especially when it comes to money," said one crony.

"Crazy old Eugene, hmm?" Sam wondered, very pensive. "Crazy old Eugene. Hmmm?"  
_Jet, I'm afraid I've been thinking._  
(Jet is still under the chair.)  
Jet: _A dangerous pastime-_  
Sam: (finishing line)_ I know,_  
_But that wacky old coot is Elise's father_  
_And his sanity's only so-so_

_Now the wheels in my head have been turning_  
_Since I looked at that loony old man_  
_See I promised myself I'd be married to Elise,_  
_And right now I'm evolving a plan!_  
(Sam picks Jet out from under the chair and holds his head close, and whispers)  
Sam: If I...(whisper)  
Jet: Yes?  
Sam: Then I...(whisper)  
Jet: No, would she?  
Sam: (whispering)...GUESS!  
Jet: Now I get it!  
Both: Let's go!  
(They begin a waltz around the floor as they sing)  
BOTH: _No one plots like Sam, takes cheap shots like Sam_  
Jet: _Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Sam_  
ALL: _So his marriage we soon'll be celebrating!_  
_My what a guy, Sam!_

Camera zooms out through window to snow covered square, empty except for Krabs.

Krabs shouts to no one in particular, "Will no one help me?"


End file.
